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4 Seconds Could Save Your Marriage or Your Job

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Silence Can Save You

4 seconds of silence could save your marriage, your job, a relationship, and your health. It works like this: if you are in a heated argument, have you noticed how you begin talking over each other, voices get louder, and nobody’s listening? Before the next argument starts — because it will — agree in advance to adhere to the 4-second rule, and here’s how it works: you give each person the opportunity to speak WITHOUT interruption. Then after 4 seconds of silence, it’s your turn to speak. And after 4 seconds of silence from you, then it’s their turn to speak. And so forth until you’re both done speaking. James 1:19 and 20 in the NIV Bible says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”


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